Moving through Conflict toward a More Intimate Relationship
“Marriage means expectations, and expectations mean conflict.” Paxton Blair.
We’re drawn to people by the connections. When our expectations meet, blend, and build we choose to go deeper. We tend to marry the person who connects most deeply, whose expectations meet ours and become the way we know and are known. Then, the daily-ness of life together hits, and the expectations collide. What do we do when our “happily ever after” becomes a series of disconnects? When the one who was supposed to know us best can’t understand us at all?
Trained Mediators Discern the Root of Conflicts
In marital mediation, a trained mediator helps the parties each define and express their expectations. They discern the roots of the conflicts. Finally they work with the couple to craft a way of going forward. Spouses learn how to examine their assumptions and desires and work together to create mutual expectations for the future. Most of all, spouses learn to communicate for connection and intimacy. They craft a relationship where they are authentically known and focused on building life together.
Marital Mediation is Different from Conventional Mediation
Marital mediation is different from conventional mediation because it does not require a meeting of the minds and is not based on any written agreement between the parties. Instead, the purpose of a marriage mediation is to discuss the specific problems that may be causing the divorce in order to find solutions to those problems. When there is a problem between spouses, both are given the opportunity to talk about their concerns and work together to resolve them. Couples then evaluate the pros and cons of their options. Once a compromise is reached, the parties reach an agreement on how to resolve the issues in question and this is entered into a formal legal agreement known as a marital settlement. The parties may also sign a final document which provides for the closure of the divorce and sets up the couple’s future after the divorce is final.
Marital Mediation is Useful in Making Resolutions
Marital mediation is very useful in making a healthy resolution of marital problems because it allows both spouses to express their views and emotions without being judged. They are able to express their views on the matter without feeling the need to seek a partner’s opinion. This also allows couples to learn how to better communicate and helps them develop better relationships within the marriage. It also allows them to work together to resolve their concerns before going to court which makes their divorce process much easier and more cost-effective.
If you’re expectations are colliding it doesn’t mean the end of your marriage. We can help you learn how to get past, and even use, those collisions to build a stronger future.