“How do I know if I should agree to a proposal in mediation?”
This question tops clients’ minds when working through alternatives in divorce. Fortunately there’s an easy measure. Whether working through whether to keep the house, how to share the children’s time, or which assets to split–the same measure can be used. Two questions:
- How will this impact our children?
- What will this teach our children?
For example–Most couples face the choice of selling or keeping the family home. Some couples haggle over who has the bigger right to the house. Others focus on who invested the most. Still others on which of them deserves to profit from its sale.
Better measure: How will keeping, or not keeping, the house impact the children?
- Will keeping the house drain resources and compromise lifestyle?
- Does moving give our children a fresh start–or put them under damaging stress?
- Does staying keep them close to extended family and a wider net of care?
What does keeping, or not keeping, the house teach our children?
- Does keeping the house teach them that their parents will still work together to give them a secure home even though we are living apart?
- Does selling the house teach them important lessons in living within our means?
- Does our fighting over the house teach children that we will pay lip service to putting them first, but default to using them to hurt each other?
Divorce requires couples to find answers in every area of life. Assessing all the options can be overwhelming and confusing. Yet, one measure clarifies.
- How does this impact our children?
- What does this teach our children?
If couples can agree to work for their children’s best interests, they find the right answers–in all the areas they must consider.