“Life is 10% what happened to me and 90% how I react to it.” Charles Swindoll.
When divorce strikes, especially if it’s not our idea, we often feel out of control. That life is happening to us.
New living arrangements, different financial circumstances, dividing time with the children, these strike at the core of our livelihood and the core of our identity. It’s easy to feel helpless and manipulated by both people and circumstances. You can change this.
Life is 90% how we react. Some options:
- We can choose to sit back, accept others’ dictates, and bemoan our fate. Such passivity leads to lack of a sense of worth or ability. Life becomes simply getting along.
- We can lash out, demand our way, and force our will before someone else forces theirs. Such aggressiveness grinds relationships to a pulp in the quest to “be right” or claim rights. We may “win,” but everyone impacted loses. Life becomes a process of protecting our “win” from anyone who threatens us.
- Or, we can create a vision for the life we want and take the steps to get there. We discern the arenas where we have no control and let those go. We take the areas we can control and set boundaries around them that focus energies on achieving the vision we desire. Life becomes engaging with others, deepening the relationships that matter, and achieving the goals we define.
At The Resolution Center, we offer coaching to clients going through divorce, whether they use our mediation/arbitration services or work with their own attorney. Through coaching, clients look forward to the life they want post-divorce. We help them create a vision, devise a plan, and make the choices necessary to achieve their goals. We teach them how to treat conflict in a healthy way, coming to positive solutions rather than wallowing in circuitous fights. Then, we walk the journey with them.
Life is happening. Let us help you react in the ways that create the future you desire.