Divorce Parenting Tip–Nip Jealousy in the Bud
“Assure your fellow dream chasers that this world needs more of what they uniquely have to offer.” Lysa Terkeurst.
Terkeurst, renowned author and speaker, offers this advice to professionals who grow jealous when others find success. In a recent post on Michael Hyatt’s Platform University, Terkuerst admits that she spent years resenting others in her field who filled their calendars with speaking engagements. Received book contracts. Influenced followers. She assumed their success meant less opportunity for her.
After living in misery, and losing ground both personally and professionally, Terkeurst tried a different approach.
Cheering others’ success.
Not only did she forge bonds with those who shared her passion, her professional success reached heights she never imagined.
Terkeurst’s advice offers divorced parents a key insight into successful parenting after divorce. When Dad enjoys a close moment with daughter, Mom may fear his gain means she is shut out. When Mom and daughter create memories through a special trip, Dad may resent their unique connection. Both may assume that a gain in one relationship means a loss in the other.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Close relationships with both parents create emotionally healthy children. Emotionally healthy children relate more deeply to a wider variety of people. Translation–good interactions with one parent increase the probability of good interactions with both.
Bottom line–the more supportive you are of your child’s relationship to the other parent, the more parenting opportunities you will enjoy.
You create open communication with your child. You eliminate your child hiding good news from you because she fears you will get angry or belittle her other parent. She is free to openly share the joys, knowing you will support them.
You also eliminate the possibility of your child hiding bad news out of fear you will use it against someone he loves. Instead, your child trusts you with questions, knowing that you will work for the best of everyone. Not just yourself.
You also create unity with the other parent. When you cheer their successes, you increase the other parent’s to trust in you. When you need back-up, the other parent is on your side. When you work through a difficult moment with your child, the other parent celebrates, too.
So, cheer parenting success. Whichever parent creates. As you do–you help ensure your own opportunities with your children grow. Often, beyond your fondest hopes.