“How do I get through this? I can’t even imagine what life will be like. How do I know whether to ask for the house or the savings account? Whether to go back to school or get a job right away? How can I decide?”
Jeff’s decision to begin life with someone else left Maria feeling rejected, powerless, and overwhelmed. Like so many facing the prospect of divorce, she didn’t know where to turn or how to make decisions. Crisis had come. What now?
For people facing the crisis of divorce, the best help comes from realizing that all crises come in stages. They have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Understanding each stage helps you know how to cope.
The first stage of crises startles. Throws you off balance. Changes life in the blink of an eye. What seemed sure and foundational disappears. People grasp for something, anything, to stop the free-fall.
To cope–seek help. The worst choice can be to try to go the crisis alone.
Isolation combined with fear produces the worst responses. Those who pull away from others often sink into depression or lash out in relationship-destroying anger.
Instead–seek support. Create a team of:
- friends who will listen
- counselors who can decode emotions and propose healthy coping strategies
- experts who can speak to the specifics of the crisis with concrete information
With support in place, the fall stops. And you move to the next stage
This middle stage can be the most difficult. Reality hits and choices must be made.
People fear the decisions they are making, unsure whether they will work. They also fear others imposing choices that might make life even worse. Will the bank take the car? The judge impose an unworkable parenting plan? The doctor’s insist on the operation?
Many feel they will always be groping blindly for answers. Living in a limbo that won’t change. Forced into changes they don’t want and don’t know how to live. The tunnel is long.
Here is where The Resolution Center can make the most impact. We don’t impose choices. We equip you to make choices.
We provide our clients extensive information to understand the issues, the options, and the pros and cons of each option. Well-equipped with knowledge, you make the best choices for your unique situation. More, our process allows you to try on and adjust choices as needed.
At last there comes the new beginning. Every crisis has an end. The tunnel opens to light. The crisis passes and a new phase of life begins.
Knowing this offers hope to people at the beginning or middle stages of crisis. Knowing an end will come, people begin to ask, “When this is over, what do I want?”
Creating a vision for life post-crisis brings hope. This vision frames discussions and guides decisions.
At The Resolution Center a key component of our Conciliation process is to meet people early in the crisis and help them understand the stages of the crisis of family conflict.
We spend significant time with people helping you frame your vision for life you want after the divorce.
People come to understand that the divorce may touch all aspects of their life, but it cannot negate all aspects. It may alter what you can control, but it cannot remove all control. It can change the course of life, but it can also offer opportunity to create a life more closely reflecting what you truly desire.
This crisis will end. What do you want life to be like when it does? If you would like support, please email info@TheResolutionCenterIndy.com or call 317-344-9740. We stand ready to help you create a vision that brings calm to the crisis.